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Tales from the Land Manatee

My life as a cautionary tale.

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Category: Humor

The Universe – or Someone – Has It in for Me

On April 12, 2021April 14, 2021 By Sean D. LaytonIn Houseguest, Humor20 Comments

I don't know what's going on -- but strange things are afoot at my local Fry's Grocery store. Either I have rotten luck -- or the Universe has it in for me.

Murder in the Backyard

On March 17, 2021March 23, 2021 By Sean D. LaytonIn Houseguest, Humor, Uncategorized4 Comments

I hate cleaning up bodies -- especially when they're hidden in my back yard.

Birdemic in the Backyard

On January 30, 2021February 2, 2021 By Sean D. LaytonIn Houseguest, Humor7 Comments

I set out to feed a group of unruly African lovebirds that live in my neighborhood. Seems they have high expectations, and somehow it has become a full-time job.

4-year-old-goddaughter Alexa Seagraves watching tv drinking water out of a beer bottle

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World

On August 27, 2020January 23, 2021 By Sean D. LaytonIn Humor20 Comments

I started writing about my long-ago battle of wits with my goddaughter...um, let's see -- maybe last year? To be honest, I have no idea. I was bad enough keeping track of time before COVID and now every day I'm asking myself "Wait, is today Blursday or Thriday the 81st of Junvember?" Anyway, better late than never, right?

In Need of a Pandemic Haircut

On July 29, 2020January 23, 2021 By Sean D. LaytonIn Houseguest, Humor20 Comments

Ever look in the mirror and go 'WTF? I look like I've run out of meds.' Yeah, I'm kind of at that moment right now.

Memory Loss Happens to the Best of Us

On April 29, 2020 By Sean D. LaytonIn Houseguest, Humor12 Comments

My memory sucks. All I wanted to do was go up to the grocery store. But I just couldn't find my damned wallet.

Thoughts on the Coronavirus and Toilet Paper

On March 18, 2020January 23, 2021 By Sean D. LaytonIn Houseguest, Human Interest, Humor11 Comments

Thing are getting real with COVID19 as businesses close and events are canceled. Yours truly is stuck at home, so thought I might as well post some thoughts on the matter.

Tormented by the Human Bloodhound

On March 17, 2020 By Sean D. LaytonIn Houseguest, Humor15 Comments

The Houseguest has been a great roommate -- except for when she's a pain in the ass. Like when it comes to certain smells -- like pot pies.

Welcome to Medical Hell

On October 2, 2019January 23, 2021 By Sean D. LaytonIn Human Interest, Humor19 Comments

I don't know why, but even though I don't eat right and I don't exercise, I've always felt like I'm a healthy person. Until this week, that is, when I entered medical hell.

DIY Project? Luxury Vinyl Planks

On September 30, 2019January 23, 2021 By Sean D. LaytonIn Houseguest, Humor18 Comments

It was that time of year when I decide to take on a DIY project and my friends get nervous. And this would be the biggest project ever.

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About Sean Layton

Born in the UK, I have lived most of my life under the blazing Arizona sun. Okay, that’s a lie, I’ve been sheltering in the air-conditioned indoors. Anyway, I’m a starving writer with an MFA in creative writing (screenwriting & fiction) from ASU.

After attempting to amuse my friends for years with Facebook posts, I decided to make my tales of woe and musings on life in my tiny universe available online for an even larger audience to ignore (at their own peril).

If you enjoy what you read here, be sure to follow and share!

Recent Posts

  • Surviving the Scorching Heat: Tales from the Bird Spa.
  • Blame It on the Mongolians
  • Luckily the Dead Aren’t in a Hurry
  • Age Is Just a Number (Especially in My Family)
  • Top Gun: Maverick — Worth Seeing?

What others call poor decision making, I call teachable moments.

Now step back a safe distance and watch and learn.

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© Sean D. Layton and www.thelandmanatee.com, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sean D. Layton and www.thelandmanatee.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Follow Tales from the Land Manatee on WordPress.com

Top Posts & Pages

  • Contact
  • The Lost Art of Gift Wrapping
  • Getting Rid of My Enemy, the Ganglion Cyst
  • Time for Hot Love(birds)
  • Late Night Offerings to Mammon
  • I Have to Admit It: I Have a Coke Problem
  • Murder in the Backyard
  • Should I Downgrade My WordPress Plan?
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